Grading the Newest Sex Scandal Teacher
Illinois – A former Illinois middle school teacher who allegedly brought in the New Year by performing a sex act on her friend’s teenage son was sentenced to probation Monday after entering a plea deal.
Christine M. Taylor, 46, invited her friend and the woman’s 16-year-old son to her Naperville home on New Year’s Day in 2016, the Chicago Tribune reported.
After having pizza, Taylor allegedly brought the teenage boy to her bedroom where she performed a sex act on him. The teen’s mother caught Taylor in the act and called police, according to the website.
Taylor, a former language arts and social studies teacher at Jefferson Junior High School …
She also will need to undergo sex offender counseling and is not allowed to contact the victim or his mother.
When I was in my mid teens, New Year’s Day was typically spent sleeping late, watching college bowl games and maybe some “Earl Weaver Baseball” on my buddy’s PC if I felt like getting out. While that doesn’t sound like much, I can’t imagine anything lamer than a 16-year-old going with his mother to her girlfriend’s place, pizza or no pizza. But that is because my sainted mom didn’t have degenerate junior high teachers as friends.
Now I can’t think of a better place to spend it than with a Christine Taylor. Being lead down to her bedroom for a quick blow jibber while mom watches the Tournament of Roses Parade down the hall is the best possible way to ring in a New Year. One hell of a lot better than what I do every year now, which is wake up hungover and only half watch the football because the Christmas decorations won’t take themselves down. I just wish for this kid’s sake his mom would learn to mind her own business. And get hotter teacher friends.
The Grades:
Looks: She looks like a moderately attractive 46-year-old who ran her profile picture through that Snapchat filter that distorts your face.
Grade: C-
Moral Compass/Bad Judgment: Just consider the combination of logistics and utter depravity to invite your girlfriend over and then decide this is the perfect opportunity to go down on her teenage son’s nob. This is such an easy grade.
Grade: A
Intangibles: One thing that’s for sure, when your January 1st starts out with you having to drive home with your mom after she walks in on you in the middle of getting a windy from her girlfriend, you’ve definitely gotten your most awkward car ride of the out of the way early.
Grade: A
Overall: C+. Because of looks.
Do you have someone you want to see graded? Tweet her to me @jerrythornton1 or email me at jerry@barstoolsports.com. Your service to the betterment of mankind will be its own reward.