4 Deer Committed Suicide By Jumping Off A Bridge And The Holidays Are Already Hitting Some Of Us Hard

Outdoor Hub- In a rather gut-wrenching video, four whitetail deer are seen jumping off a bridge to their deaths right in front of the camera.

The deer are clearly confused and disoriented as they run across what appears to be a main highway, and then they make a fatal mistake.

This is what happens when deer think they’re reindeer. I’m honestly surprised we don’t see more of this around Christmas. If I were a regular deer and I heard someone recite “The Night Before Christmas,” I’d be jumping off rooftops and bridges, singing “Defying Gravity” from Wicked to pump myself up. What, just because I’m not a reindeer, I have to walk and run around on the ground like a piece of shit? Fuck that, I’m going to fly! SPLAT.

It would become a civil rights issue. We’d have deer protesting in the streets for their right to fly. “We’re here! We’re deer! We’re gonna fly to the atmosphere!” or “Two four six eight! Let us fly and we’ll pull our weight!” or “Hey, ho, fuck Rudolph and his shiny nose!” Meanwhile, what these moronic deer don’t realize is that some deer are born different. Flying is not a choice, it’s a privilege. You can strap rockets to your hooves or tie ballons to your cottontail, but a landlubber deer belongs in the forest avoiding hunters while reindeer belong in the sky avoiding drones. Sorry, kids. That’s just the way it is.

Seriously though, how dumb are those deer? “This looks like a nice place to exit the highway. Follow me kids! AGHHH I’M DEAD.” And poppa deer made the rest of his family drink the gravity kool-aid too. What a dick. Makes for a great feast for some hobo who lives under the overpass though. Venison is delicious, especially when harvested from baby deer.

We just killed Bambi!