Jeff Bezos' Ole Master Of Disguise Head Ass Is Now The Richest Person In History

The Amazon CEO’s net worth reached $105.1 billion Monday, according to Bloomberg’s billionaire tracker. That eclipses the record previously held by Microsoft founder Bill Gates.

Forbes, the other major tracker of the net worth of the world’s richest, put Bezos’ net worth at a mere $104.4 billion.

The majority of that net worth comes from the 78.9 million shares of Amazon stock he owns. Shares of Amazon (AMZN) climbed 1.4% Monday, adding about $1.4 billion to his net worth.

Shares of Amazon (AMZN) are up nearly 7% so far in this year after rising 56% in 2017.

Ever since I was a young driver, I would drive around and see the Powerball lottery signs. I would see signs that would say, “105 Million Dollar JACKPOT” and my mind would go to a place where I would imagine the things I would buy.

Fancy cars? Sure. Fancy houses? You betcha. Fancy planes? Oh hell yeah. I’d be a worldwide traveler.

Where would I go? Oh I dunno. A place where luxury and fun know no bounds. A place with sun, food, and gorgeous beaches. I’m talkin about a little place called Panama City Beach.

I’d be riding rental scooters all the livelong day. Beach wind in my hair and beard and my Barstool Sports branded sunshirt on my back. Oh my oh my what would the haters do? Retire? Probably.

Those are just delusions though. I can’t imagine waking up and having 105 BILLION dollars. It’s hard to wrap your head around what 105 billion dollars even means, and because I’m not a fucking math nerd, I’m not even going to try. I’m just gonna say that Bezos can succ it and leave it at that.