Kentucky Derby Bachelor Party Derailed When The Group Finds A Dead Body In The RV They Rented
(Source) A rolling bachelor party that started in the Twin Cities and was bound for the Kentucky Derby came unraveled not far down the road when the celebrants discovered a man’s body in an exterior compartment of their rented recreational vehicle.Authorities have not identified the man or said what led to his death. The body was discovered late Thursday after the RV, which was rented from a private party in Anoka, pulled off in Winona, Minn., along Hwy. 61 and parked outside a closed-for-the-night Shopko discount store. John Kirk, one of the passengers, said he and some of the others were told that the RV’s owner had cautioned that the two compartments near the front “do not work and should not be opened.”
However, as more of the guys were picked up to the south, some of them didn’t get the message. “They opened it up, and that’s when the body was found,” Kirk, of St. Louis Park, said Friday. The Anoka County Sheriff’s Office said in a statement that it would not “speculate on any factors at this time.” The body has been turned over to the Mayo Clinic for an autopsy, according to Winona police. The Minnesota Bureau of Criminal Apprehension is also involved in the investigation. Jake Wanek of Minneapolis was one of the men in the bachelor party and explained that all were either from Winona or attended Winona State University. The Shopko parking lot was the final rendezvous for pulling together the last of the 11 twenty-somethings before continuing to Louisville.
The first hint of death came when one of the guys opened a front compartment on one side, then closed the door, Wanek said. That sent off the whoosh of an odd odor. When the door on the other side near the front was opened, that’s when the body was spotted, he said. Wanek said that he saw the body from the knees down — feet bare and with pants on — and described it as a man who “didn’t look fresh. Let’s put it that way.” He said the group didn’t press its collective curiosity. “We weren’t really too interested in poking around in there.”
Well that’s one way to start a bachelor party. Hey look at this sweet ass RV oh shit never mind it’s got a dead person in it and the whole thing smells like a rotting corpse. The real story here though is the groom. If you’re the groom you just got yourself a get out of jail free card right? I mean you can’t possibly get married after finding a dead person on your bachelor party can you? Big time bad omen (not really but this is what we’re going with). Bare minimum you delay this wedding for a year but if I’m giving my professional opinion this is a “we just weren’t meant to be together” situation. And you know you’ve been looking for a way out. Don’t lie to us. You’ve wanted to come up with an excuse for the past year easily, well here it is, it’s not you, it’s the dead body that you found in your RV. Just need some time to mentally cope, some time away to fuck strange pussy and be single. If god wanted you to get married he wouldn’t have put a dead body in your bachelor party RV. Facts are facts, who are you to ignore them.
PS
How about the RV guy? Just having a dead body in his RV and hoping no one ever opens the front compartments ever again? I would say he’s a psycho but I kind of do the same thing. Just ignore your problems forever and hope they go away, especially if it’s rotting human flesh.