I've Taken Josh Allen And Sam Darnold Entirely Off My Draft Board After They Got Stuck In A Revolving Door Together

Congrats to Josh Rosen for now being the clear cut QB option at the top of the Draft after simply knowing how doors work. I still don’t have him above the caracal on my overall big board, but for QBs it’s Rosen followed by a sizable gap. Now, if two offensive linemen got trapped in a revolving door? I’d jettison those two guys to the top of my board so fast sans hesitation. Getting trapped in a revolving door, giggling and farting, just guys being dudes, I’d probably assume a couple of offensive linemen did this move intentionally. Because offensive linemen are supposed to be the comic relief in the locker room. The guys who are so deep in the trenches they don’t think about anything other than blocking their man and their next meal.

Franchise Quarterback though? This can’t happen. QBs have to be the smoothest guy in the building. To be exuding so much confidence all doors they encounter become automatic doors and open themselves with the sentience of the candelabra from “Beauty and the Beast.” QBs have to be like how Aziz Ansari talks about Jay Z level of smooth.

Which is why Sam Darnold and Josh Allen (of DraftJoshAllen.com fame) are now completely off my big board. If they want to take a year and put on some weight to switch positions to be guards or tackles? Then I could see the vision. But right now they’re on the “Brandon Weeden gets trapped under the flag” tier of QB prospects where absolutely no one ever wants to find themselves.