Son’s In, Guns Out: Ed Hochuli Retires The Same Day His Son Officially Becomes An NFL Referee
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. Just like that, NFL Sundays became 1000000% less Alpha and sexy. There is really no word to describe this news other than brutal. One minute you are celebrating not having to see Papa John’s mug on your TV every other minute of NFL Sunday, the next you find out that Ed Hochuli’s 24 inch pythons will no longer be running wild on the gridiron. The Football Gods giveth and they taketh away.
And while I’m not here to plant any conspiracies, Ed retiring the same day his son gets promoted seems a little fishy. Wouldn’t a father and son dream of going back-to-back like Ken Griffey Jr. and Sr. did once upon a time? People would be talking for years about the time Ed Hochuli whistled Ereck Flowers for a false start one play and the next play Shawn Hochuli flagged Flowers for holding. That clip would run in Canton forever. Instead Ed leaves the NATIONAL. FOOTBALL. LEAGUE. right as Shawn enters. Could this be because Shawn knew he had massive shoes and a tiny shirt to fill? Did Shawn not want his dad’s guns showing him up on the field AND the locker room? Unfortunately for all of us, it appears the great communicator known as Ed Hochuli will never let it be known.
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P.S. There is no doubt in my mind that Jeff Triplette got lumped into this announcement because of the debacle he oversaw during the Titans-Chiefs game. If you fuck up a playoff game that badly, your retirement becomes the B-side to Ed Hercules retirement.