I Need To Stay At This Absurd $50,000/Night Underwater Bungalow In The Maldives Immediately
Ummm yes, you have my attention….
Bloomberg - Enter Conrad Maldives Rangali Island, which is shaking up the formula of Maldivian luxury with the region’s first-ever underwater bungalow. (You read that right.) When it opens late this year, the Muraka, which translates to “coral” in the local language, Dhivehi, will have cost $15 million to build—but the experience of sleeping 16.4 feet below sea level can be all yours for a cool starting price of $50,000 per night, before taxes.
Andddd staying in an above ground bungalow is officially so 2000 and late. Life happens so fast.
One second you think you’re living the life of luxury in the Maldives in a bungalow like this:
Or maybe you have one of the new ones with a god damn water slide:
And then the next second you find out you could be sleeping in a glass tunnel under god damn sharks!
And the best part? ZERO HUMAN INTERACTION!
That’s why guests who book the villa get flown to their own private seaplane jetty and get picked up in a speedboat that’s theirs to use for the rest of their stay. The suite itself is set apart from the Conrad’s beach villas and over-water bungalows so that its residents don’t have to see other humans—or set foot on dry land—during their entire vacation, if they don’t want to. Four dedicated butlers live in a nearby structure to facilitate round-the-clock service, and everything—from a chef to cook your meals to a set of jet skis and an on-call fitness trainer—is included in the (hefty) price tag. Guests are even upgraded to Diamond Honors Hilton status and given a 90-minute spa treatment per day.
Straight out of a James Bond movie! You take a seaplane to a speedboat, how bad ass is that? And then once you’re underwater, you have the option of never seeing another human besides a butler, chef, and masseuse for as long as you stay there. Doesn’t get much better than that.
And then you get to eat a nice sea food dinner and the fish…well I can’t assume the fish will be too happy with you eating their friends (but at least they get to watch you have sex later)
Also, speaking of having sex, is it weird to have all those fish eyeballs on you the entire time?
Imagine making eye-contact with Nemo, would that ruin the vibe? Also, stay woke, how many of those fish are actually robot fish with cameras and there are people spying on you the entire time? I’d say a good amount of them. A place that charges $50,000 a night for sure has robot fish. Just how the world works.
All in all, I’m looking forward to winning the lottery and having a few days at this underwater bungalow in the Maldives. I mean it’s not quite Ocean City Maryland or Virginia Beach, but it’ll do. It’ll do.