Karl Malone is no Arnold Schwarzenegger

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    With Father's Day rapidly approaching, this week's Twisted History is all about bastards, and I highlight 2 celebrity bastard dads in particular.

    QUICKLY- Arnold made lemonade with the child he had with his longtime housekeeper behind Maria Shriver's back... 

    Broadimage. Shutterstock Images.

    … while it took the Mailman decades before he recognized the product of the statutory rape he committed when he was 20 years old.

    Giphy Images.

    (Fuck you.)

    On top of that, I touch on some of history's most famous bastards, such as Alexander Hamilton, Confucius, and William I (AKA William The Bastard)… And then we touch on Mindy Kalling, Linda Evangelista, Oprah, Larry Bird, and a SHITLOAD of athletes who simply cannot stop having unprotected sex with women that aren't married to.

    And, even though I don't think I am particularly handsome, Twisted History is now available as a video also… I attached it above.

    Take a report.

    -Large

    Twisted History

    50 videos

    1
    A List Of The Must Watch Gene Hackman Movies

    A List Of The Must Watch Gene Hackman Movies

    2
    How To Make An Irish Cream

    How To Make An Irish Cream

    3
    I Got My Ass Kicked By A Professional Sumo Wrestler

    I Got My Ass Kicked By A Professional Sumo Wrestler

    4
    Apparently, Frank The Tank Does More Than Just Walk

    Apparently, Frank The Tank Does More Than Just Walk

    5
    How To Make An Irish Man Cream

    How To Make An Irish Man Cream

    6
    Are you like me?... Fat and/or drunk?  Well, here's your drink for Thanksgiving!

    Are you like me?... Fat and/or drunk? Well, here's your drink for Thanksgiving!

    7
    How To Make An Irish Cream

    How To Make An Irish Cream

    8

    "There were bodies in the trees!"

    9

    The Deadliest Movie Never Made

    10

    In 2001, I was a gullible idiot.

    11

    Reality Television Is The Final Sign Of The Apocalypse

    12
    Hitler's Seven Dwarfs

    Hitler's Seven Dwarfs

    13

    That time a mad Russian was trying to impregante women with monkey babies.

    14

    Handicapped People Are Getting Jerked Off In Japan

    15
    Well, well, well… Get a load of this piece of shit.

    Well, well, well… Get a load of this piece of shit.

    16

    Uncle Chaps Is Talking Shit Again

    17

    I Spent WAY Too Long Listening To Billy Joel This Month

    18

    "TROUBLE IN THE SEWAHS!"

    19

    I HATE RATS

    20
    TRUE CRIME: History's Fattest Serial Killer Was From California

    TRUE CRIME: History's Fattest Serial Killer Was From California

    21

    Twisted History Turns 100 And Is Now On Video

    22

    Kublai Khan Had 7,000 Concubines Vying For His Mongolian Beef

    Play Video
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    Karl Malone is no Arnold Schwarzenegger

    24

    Deontay Wilder Fucked Up My Trip To Saudi Arabia

    25
    Roberto Clemente Was An Outstanding Human Being

    Roberto Clemente Was An Outstanding Human Being

    26

    Your Lips Have Gotta Touch The Toe

    27
    Diamond Jim Brady Had A Stomach 6x The Size Of A Normal Man

    Diamond Jim Brady Had A Stomach 6x The Size Of A Normal Man

    28

    The Twisted History Holiday Playlist

    29
    The Tragic Story of Elena Mukhina

    The Tragic Story of Elena Mukhina

    30

    Fleshlights, Russian Prisons, and Thanksgiving Leftovers

    31

    Grandpa Fugate blue his whole family on this week's Twisted History of Canada!

    32

    The Twisted History of WWI

    33
    Here Is A List of Japanese Toilet Ghosts

    Here Is A List of Japanese Toilet Ghosts

    34
    Last Week In Twisted History

    Last Week In Twisted History

    35

    You’ll No Longer Wonder Where Joaquin Mustered The Inspiration To Play Such A Sick Fuck

    36
    The Twisted History of Larry Flynt

    The Twisted History of Larry Flynt

    37
    But where did they stick it if you were a heretic, gay, and a witch?

    But where did they stick it if you were a heretic, gay, and a witch?

    38

    A Dingo Ate My Baby!

    39

    The Twisted History of Saturday Night Live

    40

    People Forget About These Unfortunate Deaths

    41

    The Twisted History of Rasputin

    42

    Who the fuck was Rasputin?

    43
    Did I Tell You About The Time Notre Dame Fought The KKK?

    Did I Tell You About The Time Notre Dame Fought The KKK?

    44

    Lyrically Questionable

    45

    "I Didn't Go With Them That Day ..."

    46
    Would You Dress Up As Gene Simmons?

    Would You Dress Up As Gene Simmons?

    47
    Twisted History Teaches Vibbs About The Grandeur Of 90s Pubic Hair

    Twisted History Teaches Vibbs About The Grandeur Of 90s Pubic Hair

    48

    The Twisted History of Weed

    49

    Screw It... Cancel Everything With A Peg Leg

    50

    The Great Emu War of 1932